That Time of the Month

It's that time of the month again.  No, not THAT time of the month.  It's that time of Danny's rotation on PCH wards that I start feeling sorry for myself that my husband is never around.  It is amazing how a person could have SO many blessings in their life, but one small part goes wrong, and they narrow in on this one bad thing and forget about all the amazing things.

Until an event puts everything back into perspective again.

I was at the grocery store the other day trying to buy some diapers and wipes for a friend who just had a baby.  There was one other person in the aisle looking at baby merchandise.  It was a young, handicapped man in a wheel chair.  He was studying closely some item on the top rack.  I thought of what a struggle it must be for this man to shop if the item he wants is at the top and he can't reach it.  As I walked past I though how easy it would be for me to retrieve his desired item for him.  I didn't say anything to him but I thought surely he would ask me if he wanted help.

I proceeded to study the diapers right next to him looking for a good deal.  He looked like he was trying to move but his feet were stuck on something.  I wanted to ask him if he wanted any help, but I didn't want to help him with his feet.  I tried to concentrate on the diapers but kept watching him out of the corner of my eye to anticipate if there was something I could do to make his task a tiny bit easier.  He finally got his feet positioned and started to stand while reaching out for his desired item.  I decided to speak up and asked if there was anything I could do to help.  He didn't appear to hear me.  I didn't want to repeat myself if he had heard me, and I also didn't want to stare, so I went back to studying the diapers.  After considerable struggle, he got a hold of a pack of pacifiers and sat back down.  He said "Thank you" so I understood that he had heard me, but I hadn't helped him.  I felt pretty worthless.  He started leaving the aisle and I smiled at him as he passed.  I selected a package of diapers and walked the other direction to finish collecting the rest of the items I needed.

I haven't been able to get this man off my mind since.  What must his life be like?  If he is the one at the grocery store by himself buying pacifiers he must have a key role in raising a baby.  I struggle enough to raise a baby and I have the most wonderful baby in the world and neither of us have any health problems. It's times like this that I inwardly scold myself for ever feeling self-pity.

Oh woe is me.  I have a beautiful house where everything works properly and is bigger than we really need.  Air conditioning to protect from the heat, a comfortable bed, and an abundance of food.  I have an incredible husband who is supportive, funny, helpful, hard working, and never mean or belittling.  We both come from large, strong, and loving families.   We have the most precious child who is sweet, happy, and healthy.  I live in a great, safe neighborhood with ward members surrounding me on every street.   We have a steady income and enough money sufficient for our needs.  We have two reliable cars that run well and get us where we need to go safely.  I get to stay home and raise our child the way I see fit, and Danny has a secure job that he enjoys.  We have no health problems at all and our bodies function the way they should.

After all that and I'm upset if Danny has to work late and some weekends now and then.  I hope blessings aren't taken away for ingratitude.  I am grateful.  I am SO grateful for the many things I was given.  I know my life won't always be perfect, but I am glad for what I have now.  I hope that I can always keep things in perspective and never let myself focus on the minuscule negatives.